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A lot of men don't realize that women have a double standard for decisiveness. It's okay for the woman to be indecisive, but if she asks a guy what he wants to do and the guy says "I don't know, what do YOU want to do?" it's the automatic kiss of death.
That's why I always loved moments of indecisiveness is women, because it gave me the opportunity to take control and make the decision for her and gain value in her eyes and pass a test.
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I recently had this experience with a man I was involved with in a 4 year relationship where we had quite a few breakups, including one that lasted almost a year. Again, this past December, we broke up yet again and this time, I am convinced it is for good. I recently received an email from him where he told me he felt I cared more about my friends than I did about him. There were other things like how he never felt I put as much into "we" and was much more concerned with "I". But I think the main issue is that this man just did not feel appreciated or that he had a prominent place in my life. I do have quite a few close friends and he has none. While I thought I was doing him a favor by including him in the "group", he resented it and would have preferred to have me all to himself. While ths is perhaps flattering, I also view it as not the healthiest way to live my life. I simply never felt comfortable once it became clear that I had to make a choice between a relationship with him and my relationships with my close friends.
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It’s based on many factors such as personal and professional achievements, how you move forward in life, accomplishment of goals, and general fulfillment with life activities.
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Sharon Thomas hurt me. She hurt me bad. She inflicted the kind of pain on me, the kind of hurt that no woman before or since has. I shed tears.
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I totally understand. I felt the exact same way, EXACTLY – I wanted to badly to be at ease in social situations, to be the funny one or the one people called to talk to or hang out – and I let myself get so upset that I wasn’t without doing anything about it.
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I’m not sure I could have a male massage therapist!!!! I think it would freak me out. I get completely naked for mine…especially now that I’m pregnant, it lets her get my lower back and my hips and it feels amazing. I see what the other people said about the massage therapist being a little awkward…but I like your idea of asking to meet up as couples, that might not be so bad. I think the nails girl is totally fair game.
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As bitter as I probably should be about the loss, I’m proud of Germany for taking action and advantage of every opportunity. I think it’s something we can all apply to our daily lives.
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I know in my life, there are people who still see me as the anxiety-ridden, awkward social misfit I was a couple of years ago. But I think we all have a choice – let other people define you as something negative, or take a leaf from Germany’s book, choose to actively try and defy expectations, and prove that you can be something.
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I’m climbing down from my soapbox but stories like these are troubling to me to say the least. I want to know why in the world this is taking place ladies and I want changes. Let’s get our act together and act like grown ups. Is 40 the new 20? Oh, a new article about that one will be coming soon.
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To help women meet their future health and economic needs, there are four important discussions every woman should have. They include her financial affairs, legal affairs, health, and aging in place. A free program being offered in May by 40 Plus and Fabulous in partnership with AARP’s Decide.Create.Share is designed to help women stop procrastinating and have important talks that can lead to a more secure future.
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